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Is American Really That Great?

I have a real problem with America. You will not see this problem on CNN or Fox News or any other news outlet, broadcast or print. None the less, this problem troubles me on a regular basis.

I've been ridiculed, shunned, and shamed because of this

I hate American cheese.

If American cheese is the only choice, I go without which is sad, because I'm pretty sure I could sustain myself on nothing but cheese. However, if my only choice was American I'd call it quits right then and there.

I love my country. I'm proud of my country.

The United States of America has changed the world with some of the most important inventions in history.

This just a tiny portion of the list:

The Laser

The Zipper


The Hearing Aid


Hello--The Internet


Crash Test Dummies

The Microwave

The Mobile Phone

And most importantly...the Chocolate Chip cookie

We did all of that, but yet what we come up with for namesake cheese is that square of I Don't What-- that we throw to the dog or to a toddler to keep him/her quiet.

I think it's a disgrace.

I love cheeseburgers, but unless I have options, Cheddar, Swiss, Colby, Gouda, or just about anything else (I don't like Blue Cheese either, but that's for another day.) I choose to go without. If I'm going to add about 100 calories to my meal, It's going to be worth it.

I'm not wasting 100 precious calories of my monitored intake on that slimy, flat, flavorless square that we just had to give the name American.

I vote to create another cheese, something strong, smoky, and aged. We can call this creation USA and be proud.

Who's with me?

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